HTMLGIANT on (author) bio envy:

I often struggle with my author bio, feeling that I need to “impress”
journals with publication credits or honors, uncertain if they’ll think
I’m so charming once I say what I really am, which is an administrative
assistant (ppl. who have “failed” in life). Writers are pressured into
offering themselves as more interesting or accomplished than they are,
resulting in cloying tales of the minutiae of one’s life: has lived in n
number of continents; nominated n times for a pushcart (or
“lesser” award); “splits” time between New York and [other metropolitan
city, preferably in Europe]; is also a [insert other artistic
vocation]. There’s a mix of glibness and desperation in these long
drawn-out bios, as if the writing weren’t enough. Save the narrative for
your characters, not your bio.

Watch out for the brilliant last paragraph. (via LitDrift)