Linked: Monique Jone’s Polite Society

I quite like this: Monique Jone’s Polite Society. Great theme choice, and lovely character drawings.

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Category: Linked List


  • http://societybook.wordpress.com Monique

    Thanks for featuring me! It’s appreciated! I’m also glad you like it; it means I actually know how to write :) Thanks again.

  • http://www.novelr.com Eli James

    @Monique: Your writing is clunky in places, but I like the whole mood of the series. Plus the fact that you must’ve put a lot of work into drawing and setting everything up!

    Keep at it – and best of luck. :)

  • http://societybook.wordpress.com Monique

    @Eli: Thanks for the critique (I don’t mean that in a sarcastic, mean-spirited way). And thanks for the good wishes. Hopefully if I keep going, I’ll be rid of the clunkiness. Actually, what would you suggest I do to get better?

  • http://www.novelr.com Eli James

    Well there are certain places where you use adverbs unnecessarily (I couldn’t help myself – forgive me the pun!) For example:

    As she heard the carriages pull up and saw the butler respectfully rush toward the door, E.A. straightened up, even though the corset already aligned her spine. The door was gracefully opened, and from behind it stepped six of the most gorgeous people E.A. had ever laid eyes on, all of them in clothes decorated in colors she didn’t have names for.

    How does one ‘respectfully’ rush toward a door? Or open aforementioned door ‘gracefully’? There’s also use of passive in the second sentence (door was opened), which trips the pacing a bit. But the good news is that these are all easy things to fix:

    As she heard the carriages pull up and saw the butler rush toward the door, E.A. straightened up, even though the corset already aligned her spine. The door opened, and from behind it stepped six of the most gorgeous people E.A. had ever laid eyes on, all of them in clothes of colors she didn’t have names for.

    I hope this helps. And don’t fret about the adverbs thing – I overuse them all the time, too, and it usually takes me two to three edits before I squash every last one of them.

    That said, these things are really minor. Maybe I’m just anal about adverbs. /apologetic grin