Date A Girl Who Reads

I’ve been rather late on this, but a lovely little essay has been making rounds on the Internet, apparently in response to Charles Warnke’s You Should Date An Illiterate Girl. Rosemarie Urquico writes:

You should date a girl who reads.

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes, who has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she has found the book she wants. You see that weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a secondhand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow and worn.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas, for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry and in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who read understand that all things must come to end, but that you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

You may find Rosemarie Urquico, a writer from the Philippines, over at Goodreads, and on Facebook. Here’s the full story of how she came to write this piece.

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Category: Writing
  • Kyt Dotson

    Also, for the whole dating scheme — dating a girl who reads means that she’s more likely to read your work and see herself in it.

    No doubt, and I’m guilty of this also, as writers we pen our experience into the ink of our page and sometimes those experiences compel the best portions of the people we love and know. This sort of grinning, blameless idolatry is perhaps the best gift I can give the people who influence my life by spreading their ideas — and the most subtle flattery I can divide to everyone that I love.

  • bcghost

    Women will complain that you spend time writing by computer more than her.ps:Could you use some time to reply my comment before?please.

  • http://elijames.org Eli James

    I think it’s most helpful if the ones we love also happened to be our biggest fans (or at least our most avid readers). 

    But, yes, I can see how the subtle flattery might be nice :)

    (Also the reverse: J. K. Rowling based many horrible people in her book on the people she disliked in real life!)

  • http://elijames.org Eli James

    Will reply now. :)

  • bcghost

    Thank you for your reply
    The reason why this form works because we have a lot of people.on such an open networkenvironment The population quota decided we can quickly find a majority of the readers and writers.
    But on the one hand we are also facing a lot of problem of copyright piracy, a best-selling author jokingly said: If there was no piracy, I could buy an aircraft.
    Some experience is common. Such as the most important of web novels is an update.usually a professional writer has to write twelve thousand words one day. Traditional Chinese novelist, said:”Network novel is garbage.” Because we like fast food.Just for fun, just to vent, and not too many hypocritical. All are the simplest and most straightforward, anyone can read.From the title might be better understanding of the different of traditionnal novel and web novel.For example ,“THE SON OF LIGHT (2004)” “ THE BEGINNING OF DEATH(2009)”Creativity is also important. There are many genres here, such as avatar, play games reborn, portable
    portable from the “portable the two acres of land,” an agriculturalcollege graduates accidentally got a jewelry, which have contained a magical space.In that space, plant growth rate is several times in outside.The idea is very popular in the zombie article, because where you can exchange a woman with a bag of rice.

  • Anonymous

    I dated a girl who reads. Then I married her. It was a wise move on my part.

  • http://elijames.org Eli James

    This is the best answer yet.

  • Eoldenburg86

    :)

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  • http://alivion.livejournal.com/ Alivion

    “Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.”
    That’s a late start. I distinctly remember my sixth birthday because that was the day I got my first library card. The library wouldn’t let someone younger than that get a card, so I’d been checking out books on my parents’ cards for two years.

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  • Echrak Bachraoui

    simply amazing!

  • Echrak Bachraoui

    Simply amazing! Yet, I don’t think that it can be realistic.. Too perfect to exist..

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